Bianca

My beautiful Bianca came into the world over three decades ago, filling me with wonder and making me such a very proud mom. She continues to make me proud as she grows steadily into the woman she is meant to become, her initially tentative steps turning increasingly into bigger confident strides.

From the toddler with too much attitude (she was barely five when she declared she could not live in the same house as me!) to the high-spirited school girl with a mind of her own, Bianca could never be ignored. From the feisty young woman navigating the gritty world of Mumbai’s street children to the competent wife and mother, learning independence and raising two children in distant Canada, Bianca has remained a force to contend with.

Now, Bianca is poised to move from a decade of full-time motherhood into a new phase that will see her step into a space beyond her home. I watch with a heart overflowing with love and pride, as she steps into this brand new arena. I pray that she will use her intelligence and learning and kindness and compassion to realize her true potential and make a difference in the world. Mostly, I marvel that my curly haired little baby has grown into this remarkable young lady, brimming with more courage and assurance than you’d imagine could be contained in her tiny five foot frame!

http://www.5oclockreflections.com/bianca/

Mothers and Daughters

I have a bias towards women – I tend to allow them more leeway and sometimes make excuses for them, at least secretly. Each day one hears tales of extraordinary women, who unhesitatingly embark on seemingly impossible journeys and then display remarkable fortitude and ingenuity in the travel. I am particularly fascinated by the roles that generations of strong women (are there any other kind?) play within families.

I dwell upon the connection I had with my mother and how it evolved over the years. This provides insight on my bond with my own daughter and how it grows stronger every day. From this vantage point, I can look back toward what I remember of my mom’s relationship with her mother while also viewing the beginnings of my daughter’s relationship with her precious little girl!

My perspective reveals a pattern that is wonderfully reassuring. I see each mother morph from commanding to mellow, as she willingly relinquishes authority. I see each daughter soften from combative, even competitive, to thoughtful and caring. I see the unmistakable pride each mom feels to see each daughter come into her own. I see those ‘aha’ moments of empathy, as daughters appreciate the challenges of managing families and raising children! Most of all, I see a strong foundation that supports a stronger edifice, both weathered gradually by the changing seasons and the passage of time…

http://www.5oclockreflections.com/mothers-and-daughters/

The Women I Know

International Women’s Day is dawning as I write this piece, so what else could I possibly write about today?! My inbox is flooded with sentimental greetings (mostly from men) that laud our gentle natures, admire our inner strength and commend our untiring perseverance. Many of these messages are framed in delicate pink and embellished with flowers and bows and butterflies.

And then, there are my girlfriends… K sends me a story where the frog aspiring to be prince ends up as ‘sautéed frogs legs, seasoned in white wine and onion cream sauce’! J cares less about a man bringing flowers than his knowledge of the G-spot. T is dealing stoically with the passing of a spouse, who was nowhere near perfect, and doing what she needs to do right now. V is caught up in the whirlwind of planning a daughter’s wedding. J2, M and R bravely face the dreadful prospect of losing a beloved, sick and aging parent; each remains strong and no doubt resorts to the timely glass of wine.

Each precious girl supports and sustains me in her own unique and irreplaceable way. J3 knows that nothing is unbearable if you remember to breathe and brew a cup of tea. A can always be counted upon, no matter when or for what. M is the strong ‘roll up your sleeves and fix it’ girl, but I have known her to shed the occasional tear. M2 was with me last week as we were transported by the St. Petersburg Philharmonic. And there are so many others!

I am fortunate to be surrounded by remarkable women — each with an amazing story, an incredible personality and the ability to nourish. Thank you to all you special ladies, celebrating you today and every day. I could not live without you and more power to us!

http://www.5oclockreflections.com/the-women-i-know/

Victoria

Victoria is a striking black cat with piercing green eyes, that change easily from almost emerald to several shades of onyx. A distinctive white blaze runs down her face, from forehead to nose, before continuing under her chin and spreading across her chest. Victoria is aptly named – she is nothing if not regal and certainly queen of all she surveys.

Unlike children or dogs (even some men!) who can be needy and dependent, cats are sure and secure and self-contained. It is easier to love a dog and takes little to win its loyalty and adoration. He is always happy to go for a walk or chase a ball or fetch a stick. Not so with a cat. A cat questions authority, prefers to come and go as it pleases and tends to turn its nose up at your suggestions. And, she also really enjoys her own company! You can feel hurt and continue to behave like a dog owner. Or you can evolve to respect your cat and learn that its affection must be earned each day.

Watching Victoria now, as she stretches languorously on a sunny patch of warm carpet, it occurs to me that I’m like her in some ways and perhaps even share her world view… I’d certainly like to live her life!

http://www.5oclockreflections.com/victoria/