Balance

Ever since I can remember, I’ve been obsessed with ‘balance’. Some will say it is the hallmark of an obsessive-compulsive personality but I like to think it’s the Libra in me, symbolized by the scales and big on justice, fairness and, yes, balance! As a young person, I would often say ‘that’s not fair’, assuming this was reason enough for the universe to reorganize circumstances into a state of impartiality. I grew up and learned that life is not fair and that the equilibrium I sought had to come from within.

In recent days, I have seen a disturbing lack of balance in so many lives around me. Separate conversations with different people have been uncannily similar, pointing to a trend - too much time, effort and money spent in preparing for a tenuous future that might be, at the cost of a tangible present that is. The stories tell of long hours at work and sacrificed family time, to bank more for tomorrow. How much - be it money or status or ambition - is enough? What if the future we save for dissipates when we reach there; as children grow distant, spouses become alienated and health begins to falter? As if in answer, I just met a man on the verge of retirement. He spoke about his worries around the concerns of a wife he hardly knows any more. He wishes he had shown her how he cares. He will start now…

Like other people who are past the middle of their lives, I tend to look back as much as I look ahead. While we cannot change what’s past, we can strive for stability between the present and the future. My constant effort is to remain level, centered, on an even keel, amid life’s several storms. Though I am not naturally drawn to the calm and safe and sheltered bay; invariably picking the adventure of the choppy seas and consistently choosing to venture into the new and unknown… still I will aspire for balance.