Forgiving a loved one for dying. Getting past the anger.

Even though the end of life is inevitable, oftentimes death is predictable and unsurprising. We all know people that consistently abuse their health and their bodies or fall prey to addictions and invite an early end. It is hard not to think – well he was asking for it and now he has brought it upon himself and what else could his life have resulted in. How then should one feel sympathy or sadness?

If this foolish person is a loved one, the initial anger supersedes the grief: anger at the senseless futility, the thoughtless waste and the uncaring selfishness. But feelings are not rational and one cannot plan not to grieve. Sorrow eventually finds its way to pushing aside the anger and occupying a place alongside it. I think that eventually both the anger and the grief are swept away by a combination of time and wisdom and the innate tendency for the positive to rise above the negative… 

http://www.5oclockreflections.com/forgiving-a-loved-one-for-dying-getting-past-the-anger/